Over the years, I’ve gained a deep appreciation for the value of male friendships. However, as life changes, so does the ability to maintain those connections. Despite my best efforts to keep friendships going, shifting dynamics have naturally caused some to fade. Fatherhood, in particular, has made all of us busier. Now, as I watch my friends juggle fatherhood with multiple kids, I’ve had to adjust my expectations and rethink how I maintain these relationships amidst the chaos of parenting.
If you’re a dad looking to keep your friendships alive, here are some strategies that have worked for me:
1. Check-Ins
Staying in touch is more important than ever, and luckily, technology makes it easier than ever. A quick text, a funny meme, or a short call can go a long way in letting your friends know you're thinking of them. When you check in, don't just ask about the kids—talk about shared interests or memories that keep your connection alive.
2. Plan Meet-Ups: Quality Over Quantity
Coordinating schedules as a parent can be extremely difficult. Between family commitments, work, and your friends’ equally chaotic schedules, finding time to meet up can be tough. But it's worth the effort. Whether grabbing coffee, meeting at a park with the kids, or having a rare "dads-only" night out, prioritize these moments. They don't have to happen weekly or even monthly, but when they do, they have the potential to strengthen your bond and give you a much-needed break.
3. Be Understanding of Life's Chaos
This one has been a big game-changer for me. Everyone's busy, and priorities switch all the time. The fact that a friend hasn't called or can't get together doesn't mean they aren't valuing the friendship. I've learned to give grace and adjust expectations. One of my close friends recently welcomed his third child into the world. I had to mentally prepare myself that it might be months before we could catch up and I had to learn to be OK with that. Understanding realities on both sides can make it easier to navigate those seasons of distance without resentment.
Maintaining friendships isn’t always easy, but it’s definitely worth the effort—especially when considering the growing awareness of the male loneliness epidemic. While friendships may look different in this stage of life, they don’t need to fade away. With an intentional, patient, and flexible approach, these meaningful connections can continue to thrive.
For more insight on Friendship Through Fatherhood visit CHKD.org/DadsinAction and listen to the Talking Fatherhood podcast.
